persecutetioncomplex | Noctium Inbox

[It's a solid hour or three after the fiasco over on Flat's post. Claude doesn't want to say too much over the network, he's already said too much over the network. But he can't leave things as they are and, tempting though it had been in the immediate panic afterward, he didn't want to alert any of her friends to... whatever this was.

So instead, this is what she gets. Edited and reworked and precise to give her as much reassurance as he can without giving too much away.]

Bernadetta,
I know you're upset and you have every right to be. This isn't the sort of thing I'm any good at and what I said was not meant to be hurtful but I can understand how it was.

You didn't do anything wrong. It was nice and I'm glad you didn't feel like you needed to run away. I don't want you to feel unsafe with me. Just like you said, when you gave me your earring.

That is something that takes time, though. Should take time. The fact that it didn't makes me suspect there's something else at work here, some magic with the gems and synchrony. Maybe we really do just resonate with each other really well. But there's too much possibility of an external influence for me to fully trust that. Or, as you probably gathered, to fully trust anything.

I didn't mean to dismiss it or your feelings. The potential for interference is concerning, though. It's frightening to think that we could be so easily manipulated. The fact that it was out of character for both of us only makes that worse. Still none of that is your fault. I'm not denying that there were certain feelings there. I merely worry that some part of it pushed the both of us to act outside our normal behaviors.

It was a first for both of us and I do not regret it but it does make me wonder.

I'm sorry I upset you.

-C

[Saying that some of the possibilities are frightening and concerning is as close as he can get to outright saying that he's scared.]

Dear Duke Riegan,

When you put it like that, it is scary. I guess... I should probably be scared because I wasn't scared? I felt like everything I was saying only made things worse, because you kept getting worried, but then you weren't, and I thought I did something right, somehow.

I do apologize that I couldn't make your first kiss special.

To confirm, I'm not angry.

Regards,

B. von Varley

[Shortly after, before she can second or third or tenth-guess herself, an image attachment arrives.

It's a photo of a charcoal sketch of a dragon, cobbled together from what she's seen of the wyverns at the monastery and what she saw him riding briefly, from a great distance: her best rendition of his mount, tensed and about to take flight off of a smudged rock or something similar.

A brief text follows.]

I'm really, really sorry.

I'll stay away next time, if you want me to.

I promise.

[She doesn't get a response until the next day, early in the morning when the sun's barely come up. It's better, like this. His own feelings have never mattered and he has other things to focus on, things to do. He needs to figure out what the Minister is hiding.

He's probably going to piss off a lot of people doing that.

No, it's safer for both of them if they keep some distance between them. Going home didn't change that, being here didn't change that. Nothing ever would. Keeping everyone at arm's length is the only way to really keep himself safe.]

You needn't apologize. I appreciate the art, it's beautiful.

I'm sure we needn't let this impact either of us overly much.

Thank you

-Duke Riegan

[If that's what she needed him to be to keep her sanity and keep herself safe then... that's what he'd be. It would be better in the long run.]

[Guess! Who! Didn't sleep!]

kissing a ghost is a hallmark of a horror story, not something

not something special.

You don't have to worry about being cursed, either, that was just a lie people told at school because they thought I was creepy.

Do you want the Currents back?

[....oh, damn it, that was a weird thing to say, wasn't it? That was weird. Damn it, Bernie.]

I'm sorry

I'll stop

Edited 2021-02-10 03:30 (UTC)

Bernadetta,

I hope you're doing well! Without giving anything away, this book truly has hit its peak at chapter 14. Just something to look forward to when you get to read it.

More importantly, I have something I'd like to show you. Is there a good time to meet up?

Sincerely,
Ashe

Dear Ashe,

I am doing well, and I hope the same is true for you. Not to give you undue expectations, but I think a certain side character in this book is almost more compelling than the main lead! I think you'll like his wit, when it's your turn.

I am free any time. I also have some exciting news, though there won't be anything to show for it until a few more days have passed.

Best regards,
Bernadetta

Dear Bernadetta,

I'm very much looking forward to the story when it's my turn. Thank you for sharing.

That's all right, you can keep your news a surprise if you prefer. For me, I would like to show you soon. Would tomorrow afternoon work for you?

Sincerely,
Ashe

Dear Ashe,

Tomorrow works perfectly.

I'll be waiting,
Bernadetta

[It's terribly exciting, but he does opt to go by to Bernadetta's place for the occasion. True, she's infamously a recluse, but he assumes that maybe she would prefer to be in her own comfort rather than be too social outside.

So he brings with him a terra cotta pot filled with soil, and... nothing else, it seems. He lightly knocks on the door.]

It's Ashe!

[Ashe, unknowingly, is one of a select few who actually know where she happens to live. Still, she opens the door much more quickly than she ever did, back in school.]

Oh, r-right on time. Come on in; is this the surprise?

Hi, Bernadetta! Oh, not quite. I'll show you in just a second!

[At her explicit invitation to go inside, Ashe does so, setting the pot down.]

It's something someone taught me how to do. It's my first time doing real magic, so I'm very excited.

Let me know when you're ready.

Okay...

[She settles onto her couch, hugging a plush, prettily embroidered pillow as she watches him.]

I'm ready. Is, is there anything I should do to help?

Nope, not at all! Just leave it to me.

[Now Ashe is taking in a deep breath, and he closes his eyes as he holds his hand over the soil. He tries to do it as he did before, not overthinking and just... listening for it. The amount of tenderness and care he loves to take with his own gardening, how content it makes him.

Slowly growing out of the pot is one lone plant: a Noa sapling.]

Ah! There. Whew, it's not full grown, but um, I'm sure if I spent more time I could keep it growing.

[She's quiet, watching him. The room buzzes with tension, with promise, and then—

That.

She knows that plant.]

Ashe! A-Ashe!

[She jolts out of her seat, pillow tumbling to the floor, and before she can think twice her arms are around his neck, her lips against his cheek, and then she's squatting slightly to better examine the sapling.]

It's a noa tree!

Edited 2021-03-27 01:30 (UTC)

[The kiss on his cheek makes his mind go blank for a moment before he remembers where he is. He gives a little chuckle, ducking his head, bashful but pleased by her joy. Absolutely worth it.]

I have an Emerald, which means I can grow plants from our home. Someone has been very kind in teaching me how to do it. I'm still getting the hang of it, but we can have a little bit of Fodlan with us.

I really only have a small apartment, though. I wonder what it would take to get a greenhouse here?

That's! That's exactly it!

[She grabs his sleeve, shaking it a little in her rampant excitement.]

Ashe! I'm getting a greenhouse!

[His mouth opens, and Ashe looks dumbfounded for a moment before he's going to take both of Bernadetta's hands into his own.]

That's perfect! I can help get you started with plants! That's amazing, Bernadetta!

Yes! And, um, maybe even peach currants too, i-if you have the time! And, uh, whatever else you want some space for!

Of course. I'd love to help you out, Bernadetta. Besides, this means we can make some familiar meals and teas.

[And it'll help make everything feel a bit more like home.]

If you have any other requests, I'm more than happy to help out.

That’s, well—

[Oh gosh, she wants to ask for so many things. One finally floats to the top of the pile. Ashe knows apparently, so...]

Maybe, um, maybe you could start an Almyran pine sapling or two? When... when there’s time and energy to, to spare?

[A warm smile forms on his face, and he gently squeezes her hand.]

Maybe just help me with some Synchrony sometime, and I can definitely do that. We can surprise Claude.

Oh—of course—this must’ve taken so much Manna, here, l-let me—

[She squeezes back and suddenly Synchrony surges, washing over him with a veritable tidal wave of joy and excitement and gratitude.]

O-oh! Thank you.

[A giggle escapes Ashe, a smile on his face as he feels her emotions. In return, he has delight and fondness to share with her. Bonding with her has been wonderful. True, he wishes he'd put in the effort much sooner during their school days, it's better now than never.

She's so sweet and wonderful. He's glad to befriend her finally.]

That's perfect.

[She shifts her hands, fingers lacing with his as she moves a little closer. Her own feelings are multiplied as they echo against his. It's warm, and gentle, and bright; eager and forthright in a way most people don't get to see from her, most times they reach out to her.]

I'm glad. Thank you... so, so much, Ashe. This is so wonderful.

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