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[persecutetioncomplex]

« bernie » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION Bernadetta von Varley ✦ FE3H
RESIDENCE ✦ Residency
GEMBOND✦ Amethyst

"Um, I... I don't know why you need me, s-so... um... no, well, if you do need me, that's, w-well... just... just leave a message! I might, I might get... no, I will—"

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[bottomless_bowl]

[It's a solid hour or three after the fiasco over on Flat's post. Claude doesn't want to say too much over the network, he's already said too much over the network. But he can't leave things as they are and, tempting though it had been in the immediate panic afterward, he didn't want to alert any of her friends to... whatever this was.

So instead, this is what she gets. Edited and reworked and precise to give her as much reassurance as he can without giving too much away.]

Bernadetta,
I know you're upset and you have every right to be. This isn't the sort of thing I'm any good at and what I said was not meant to be hurtful but I can understand how it was.

You didn't do anything wrong. It was nice and I'm glad you didn't feel like you needed to run away. I don't want you to feel unsafe with me. Just like you said, when you gave me your earring.

That is something that takes time, though. Should take time. The fact that it didn't makes me suspect there's something else at work here, some magic with the gems and synchrony. Maybe we really do just resonate with each other really well. But there's too much possibility of an external influence for me to fully trust that. Or, as you probably gathered, to fully trust anything.

I didn't mean to dismiss it or your feelings. The potential for interference is concerning, though. It's frightening to think that we could be so easily manipulated. The fact that it was out of character for both of us only makes that worse. Still none of that is your fault. I'm not denying that there were certain feelings there. I merely worry that some part of it pushed the both of us to act outside our normal behaviors.

It was a first for both of us and I do not regret it but it does make me wonder.

I'm sorry I upset you.

-C

[Saying that some of the possibilities are frightening and concerning is as close as he can get to outright saying that he's scared.]

[persecutetioncomplex]

Dear Duke Riegan,

When you put it like that, it is scary. I guess... I should probably be scared because I wasn't scared? I felt like everything I was saying only made things worse, because you kept getting worried, but then you weren't, and I thought I did something right, somehow.

I do apologize that I couldn't make your first kiss special.

To confirm, I'm not angry.

Regards,

B. von Varley

[persecutetioncomplex]

[Shortly after, before she can second or third or tenth-guess herself, an image attachment arrives.

It's a photo of a charcoal sketch of a dragon, cobbled together from what she's seen of the wyverns at the monastery and what she saw him riding briefly, from a great distance: her best rendition of his mount, tensed and about to take flight off of a smudged rock or something similar.

A brief text follows.]

I'm really, really sorry.

I'll stay away next time, if you want me to.

I promise.

[bottomless_bowl]

[She doesn't get a response until the next day, early in the morning when the sun's barely come up. It's better, like this. His own feelings have never mattered and he has other things to focus on, things to do. He needs to figure out what the Minister is hiding.

He's probably going to piss off a lot of people doing that.

No, it's safer for both of them if they keep some distance between them. Going home didn't change that, being here didn't change that. Nothing ever would. Keeping everyone at arm's length is the only way to really keep himself safe.]

You needn't apologize. I appreciate the art, it's beautiful.

I'm sure we needn't let this impact either of us overly much.

Thank you



-Duke Riegan

[If that's what she needed him to be to keep her sanity and keep herself safe then... that's what he'd be. It would be better in the long run.]

text; un: arrow.of.justice

[shootyourshot]

Bernadetta,

I hope you're doing well! Without giving anything away, this book truly has hit its peak at chapter 14. Just something to look forward to when you get to read it.

More importantly, I have something I'd like to show you. Is there a good time to meet up?

Sincerely,
Ashe

[persecutetioncomplex]

Dear Ashe,

I am doing well, and I hope the same is true for you. Not to give you undue expectations, but I think a certain side character in this book is almost more compelling than the main lead! I think you'll like his wit, when it's your turn.

I am free any time. I also have some exciting news, though there won't be anything to show for it until a few more days have passed.

Best regards,
Bernadetta

[shootyourshot]

Dear Bernadetta,

I'm very much looking forward to the story when it's my turn. Thank you for sharing.

That's all right, you can keep your news a surprise if you prefer. For me, I would like to show you soon. Would tomorrow afternoon work for you?

Sincerely,
Ashe

??????? 4/1

[escardos]

[ when bernie steps out of the house, she will see a box of chocolates!

however, when she opens them, they'll be full of cookies? and taped to the lid there's a letter. ]

haha! made you think there were chocolates, but there are actually cookies!!!! i bought them at the bakery :P i think they're sugar cookies. april fool's day!

flat escardos!

[ and that's what they are. ]

un: bernie | text

[persecutetioncomplex]

Thank you for the cookies!

What's april fools day?

[escardos]

april fool's day is a day where you prank people! play a joke!

[Action sort of]

[perfectteatime]

[ Bernie will find a little sock-doll friend waiting on her doorstep when she next goes outside. A note on it reads: ]

Dear Bernie,

I watched some videos and I think I am starting to get the hang of it. I did my best, sorry about the left side stitching, I messed up a bit there.

I hope you like her, and that you are doing well.

- Profes Byleth

[persecutetioncomplex]

[Soon after, within the day, Byleth might come home to a wrapped parcel leaned against his door. When he opens it, he'll find a small oil portrait of Captain Jeralt, half-turned in profile and smirking at a table with blurred figures of other mercenaries, in a tavern or dining hall, based on the lighting.]

Dear Byleth,

You did very nicely, and she's very cute. Thank you very much. You pulled the thread a little too hard at the start of stitching it up and overcompensated towards the end, it looks like. It gives her character.

[Insert a few scribbled out lines here, indecipherable.]

I hope I got the details right.


Best wishes,

Bernadetta

bernie fucking crit him

[perfectteatime]

[ He takes the wrapped parcel inside, reading the note, quietly pleased that she liked her gift. He had probably spent far too long on such a simple thing, but he wanted it to be good.

Unwrapping the gift in return, he wasn't sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn't this. A beautiful portrait of Jeralt... he's stunned for a moment. He never expected to have something like this. He had been left with his father's few possessions, and his journal. He read it over and over again, in a way, he could almost hear his voice in the scrawled handwriting.

But this... seeing his face outside of his own memory. It brings back so much of that feeling of sadness. Remembering how he'd shut himself away to cry and mourn, the most intense emotion he'd ever felt at that point in his life, and it stretched on forever it felt like. Now though, there's something mixed in with it. Seeing his father again, even in a picture. Now he can see him whenever he wants. It still makes the sting of tears well in his eyes. Ah- it's been a long time. He swallows against a knot in his throat, as he sinks to the floor, hugging the painting to his chest. It's strange to hear himself cry, and while it's sad, and it hurts, a sense of relief comes along with it. He's happy to see him, but he misses him all over again.

He lets it wash over him, and he cries. Until the feelings fade, and he's left with that exhausted, empty feeling. Until he can scoop himself up off the floor and hang the picture above his desk.

Is this what people mean when they call something bittersweet? ]

text; un: arrow.of.justice

[shootyourshot]

Hi Bernadetta,

I'd understand if you aren't really in a talking mood right now, but I just wanted to check on you after everything. I hope you're doing okay.

[persecutetioncomplex]

Hi Ashe,

I think, regardless of how I feel, I need to talk.

My head will get too noisy, if I don't.

I've just been drawing and drawing portraits of the children and I

I need to stop.

[shootyourshot]

Oh, Bernadetta.

I'd be happy to talk. Do you want to do it like this?

[bottomless_bowl]

[It's not fair, putting all of this on her when she's still so devastated by the loss of the children. He almost goes back to his rooftop after dropping things off so his worry does not add to her stress. But then.... if he doesn't go home (when had he begun to think of her apartment as home?) she's just going to worry about him anyway. Grudgingly he does return to the apartment, hating the fine tremor in his hands, the silence in the apartment that seems so oppressive now without the herd of delicate little fairy creatures, the fact that he's been so caught up in his head and not able to really enjoy the time they did have with them.

Not the way she did, throwing herself wholeheartedly into tending them while he and Taner stayed out of the way playing board games and lazing about during the day while awaiting the cover of darkness for Khalid to go to work and Taner to shift his attention back to Momma.

He's quiet as he steps in, closing the door softly and pausing there to lean heavily against it.]

[persecutetioncomplex]

Oh. Welcome back, Khalid.

[There's something so domestic it hurts to think about, living together like this. Not always, and sometimes his work hours and her malleable sleep schedule means they sometimes miss meeting directly, but...

She can look up from her embroidery, and smile at him, if a bit weaker than she has in the past. She's been going out more, and trying to keep her mind off it all.

Off them all.

Her sketchbook is full of them, and their toys have been hidden away, where the sight of them can't hurt her. She hasn't been able to tidy up the last game of backgammon Taner couldn't muster the strength to finish, just yet, so it stays off to one side, an environmental bruise.]

...how did it go?

[bottomless_bowl]

Detta? You up?

Got a question for you.

[persecutetioncomplex]

For a little while longer, yes.

What's up?

text | un: kissfroma

[hasitsthorns]

Hey. Bernadetta, right?
This is Rose.
Thanks for being so understanding about my situation and letting your guy help me out.

[ I'm sorry if I made things weird at all-
I don't want to come between you two-
You're a better person than me for it- ]

I've got a plan to keep things under control going forward but I appreciate everything.
(Don't feel like you have to reply to this either! I just wanted to say thanks. ✌️)

text | un: bernie

[persecutetioncomplex]

It's alright! We're open for, well, partly exactly this reason? But if it's an ongoing thing, we'd need to have a discussion with everyone.

Sometimes people need help, or don't have a choice; we know that. I love him, and he loves me, and I trust him, too. Hopefully he trusts me just as much.

He explained that you're like him, too—trusting people can be really scary, we both know that. I'm sure your plan is very good! But, one of the less scary ways I use to keep my Manna up is, I Sync with people when I kind of know what we'll both be feeling? Like, during a sad or happy movie, or when there's something festive going on.

I'm sure you have plenty of ideas, so maybe that one won't be used, but I figured, better to have too many than too few, right?

I hope you're feeling okay. The hospitals here are nice, but turning gemmy sounds... really scary.

text; un: arrow.of.justice | like in the middle of the night

[shootyourshot]

Bernadetta?

[persecutetioncomplex]

[She’s up, thank you night owl tendencies.]

Yes? Are you okay, Ashe?

text | un: kissfroma @ some ungodly hour

[hasitsthorns]

hey
are you up

foreword: this is NOT a booty call
but gurl I think I messed up
with that glowy body paint